Reader, I want you to look carefully at the photo above. Do you see the devilish glint in his eye? The sheepish look on his furry face? The aura of self-satisfaction? Yes, that is one pleased looking little rat. I will tell you why he is so damn pleased with himself. Matthew and I, as new homeowners, seem to have entered into the Saturday home improvement club. Our Saturdays are dedicated to cleaning, fixing, planting, mowing, weeding, installing, perfecting, and taking endless trips to Homebase (today's trip will be in the endeavour to obtain a loft ladder and various other exciting pieces of hardware).
So this morning, while Matthew was down at the bottom of the garden picking what has turned into an enormous crop of blackcurrants (courtesy of the previous owners and a good two years of neglect), I was on the deck planting a pot of basil. OK, before you accuse me of actually giving two hoots about gardening (I don't), I should clarify by admitting that the basil came as a patty (looking an awful lot like a chocolate chip cookie) and was incongruously included in a pack of Lurpak butter. I don't know what basil seeds and butter are doing together in the aisles of our supermarkets, but it's really none of my business, so I won't pry.
Anyway, since Matthew and I managed to kill our parsley (actually, Moose killed our parsley by knocking over the pot repeatedly), we had an empty, comfortable home for our patty of basil/butter seeds, so I got out my green thumb and did some minor gardening.
Erm, actually, I should come clean and admit that the patty really only had to be placed on top of the soil and watered, and then broken up an hour or so afterward and left to do its thing. Look, I already said that I am not a gardener, OK? Leave me alone.
But I tell you, friends, that the basil had not been nestled on top of the soil of a plant we had previously killed for more than three minutes before our ratty little Moose gobbled up the basily, seedy, buttery goodness! He ate the ersatz chocolate chip cookie in one remorseless bite!
Life with a Moose is tough business, I tell you. Dog eat dog. Dog eat basil. Dog eat tube after tube of Lera's almond chapstick.
It's only a matter of time, dear friends, before he is tossed out onto the street.
Oh, but look at how sweet he looks! And how innocent, with his sweet puppy eyes.
How quick we are to forgive. Alas.
